Art journal page in progress.
It is part of being human to question our lives, evaluating how far we have come, what we have accomplished, and where it is we hope to go. It is part of the joy – and the struggle – of possessing the unique gift of awareness of our Selves. We analyze our past and dream of the future, looking for answers about our impact on this world: have we made a difference at all? Whose lives, for better or worse, have we touched? How have we grown, changed, failed, and succeeded in the time that we have spent on this earth thus far?
I realized recently that most of my life, instead of having been focused on dreams, higher education, friends, and my future, was occupied with questions of survival: "How can I survive this unhealthy environment? Will I ever find relief from these demons of self hatred and depression? Will I ever be able to live a normal life?" (Read my story here.)
Now, in my twenty fourth year, having at long last reached out for help and begun the long journey to healing, I know the answers to those questions: I have survived, courageously. I have learned to be gentle, loving, and patient with my Self. I am whole, and I am and will continue to walk a journey of healing. I am not defined by my past.
Knowing these truths, I at long last have the chance to explore the questions that had for so many years fallen to the wayside: what do I want to do? What can I give to the world? What are the things that I most want for myself? What big dreams do I have?
And frankly, my loves, I am at a loss.
But everything new and unknown is difficult. Knowing that the rewards of finding these answers will point the way to a full, happy life, I will continue to ask myself big questions, searching for answers that make my heart sing. And so I continue on this adventure deep within to (re)discover my passions, my joys, and my dreams.
Dear readers, do you struggle with knowing who you are? What are your biggest heart dreams? I would love to hear from you!
All my love,