I have to admit, I am so happy to be back at university. I was completely dreading it, but I find that here I am finally able to begin decompressing and looking objectively at how I've grown and changed over the past few months. (Especially on days when so much snow falls that all classes are cancelled!) I think this year I may have unknowingly begun a journey into some serious self exploration! Perhaps as I discover new things and rethink old beliefs, fears, and goals I will find my way back to my passion for creating. I feel I must, for the time being, anyway, follow where my intuition leads.
With such extreme change happening around me, I have failed to recognize changes occurring within. I've suddenly noticed that I am drawn to new colors - pale pinks, creams, and turquoises - as well as things (images and clothes, for example) feminine, delicate, and soft. In the past, I was (and at moments still am) attracted to bold, bright, energetic colors, colors that suggested action and strength and vivacity; I was never a fond of what I very judgmentally considered "girly" or "weak" colors or design. Yet here I am, wearing neutrals and pinks and wanting to dress in lace dresses and put flowers in my hair.
I really believe that this is an important representation of some inner change I can't quite understand or explain as of yet, and want to see where this world of pastels and softness will take me. This change is so sudden and surprising that I must admit that I'm not really sure how to respond to it! But tonight? Tonight I break out the paints and explore a new palette and a new side of myself with no judgment and no expectation of being able to understand perfectly. I'll let my heart do the talking.