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Confessions of a Restless Mind

Detail of the background of a newly prepared canvas, waiting to be brought to life.

Every once in a while, I get restless. I long to leave behind all this routine, stress, and day-to-day ordinary and travel the world. I want to climb mountains, swim in oceans, make new friendships that will last a lifetime, paint, photograph, explore; I want to be a nomad, with nothing to tie me down and no responsibilities to hold me back.

Oh, but these daydreams are simply that -- daydreams. As much as I wish it were so, I cannot dream away the life I am slowly finding my way through; I do not have the means (nor the courage, I think) to embark on such an "outrageous" and "senseless" journey. I am blessed with everything I have, I know -- but sometimes, I want to trade it all for something that is less tangible but feels like so much more.

Maybe someday.

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8 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful foundation- I can't wait to see how it grows.

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  2. I hope you can do that someday. I can't imagine myself doing that for my lifetime, but I would like to do that once in a while. Not a very great while, either.

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  3. I know how you feel. Sometimes life gets really itchy. I don't think you can't have everything you want. The key is finding a balance between your nomadic self and your grounded self. If you want to go somewhere new, there are farms you could work on -- they'd feed you and give you a place to stay. You could teach English somewhere. There are lots of ways to explore the world and do everything your heart desires.

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  4. I feel the same too. And I'm not even in college yet where a bucket of responsibilities get dumped onto me. I don't want to have to think about college applications and work studies and things I should do. But today, after going to an ambassador party for transfer students at my high school, I kind of got a slap in the face. Kind of telling me "You need to grow up a little" even though I'm afraid. I'm glad you already understand why life can't be how we daydream. I'm still wishing for it to be, though, and I guess I'll come around :)

    And by the way, beautiful page. It reminds me of a daydream by a pond or lake or something during the springtime. I really love it!

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  5. Oh my.. do I know how you feel. I wish I could travel somewhere and just explore too. I think if you try to work exploration and spontaneous things into your daily life, it will help.

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  6. Yup yup yup. Sometimes I desperately want to just run away, leave all my things behind and just wander this planet of ours for awhile. And take everything in. Maybe spread around bits of kindness along the way.

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  7. Thanks so much for your comments, my sweets! Lots of love to you.

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