Every one of us struggles with our identity at some point. We question who we are and what we have to give to the world. We compare ourselves to others, and wonder if we truly are unique or if we are merely a drop in the ocean. We face criticisms and complaints from others and from ourselves, and sometimes our faith in who we are – and what purpose we have – is shaken.
We are often told that to recognize and accept the things we treasure about ourselves is immodest.
"I have beautiful eyes."
"I am a very good guitar player."
"I am intelligent."
We can (and should!) accept and celebrate ourselves – and it is not at all wrong to love oneself nor to be unafraid to admit it! We can certainly do so in a positive way free from narcissism and arrogance.
We are undoubtedly our harshest critics. There is a quote - “We judge others by their actions, and we judge ourselves by our intentions.” Only we can see the inner workings of our mind; we experience our darkest thoughts and our most unkind feelings. We censor ourselves to the outer world, but are completely exposed to ourselves, and so we berate ourselves for harsh things we have not said and cruel things we have not done. We often judge ourselves for these unexpressed things – but how unfair that is! “We judge others by their actions, and ourselves by our intentions.” Pay attention to the kind things you have done and the sympathetic words you have spoken, for actions speak so very much louder than words – especially words that are unsaid.
From today forward, be gentle with yourself. Show yourself love, kindness, and patience - as you would any dear friend. And remember these four Truths - for they are undoubtedly, absolutely, unchangingly true -
- You are appreciated.
- You are wanted.
- You matter.
- You are loved.